Play is a central part of childhood. Play is how children learn, grow, and experience the world. Through play, we learn empathy, creativity, problem solving, flexibility, and effective communication. Through play, we also build and strengthen relationships and bonds between caregivers and child. While play is fun, how is it functional? How does building blocks, feeding dolls, or roaring dinosaurs benefit children’s addition of skills?
In play, we learn communication skills. We learn how to ask others for a turn. We learn how to ask for what we want and make requests of others. We learn words to express how our dolls or trucks are feeling, moving, and acting.
We learn flexibility. We learn that although things might not always be the same, we can be creative and still have so much fun. Maybe we’re out of our favorite blue blocks, but we learn through flexibility that having a blue house with a green roof is WAY cooler than having an all-blue house.
We learn turn taking. Sharing is a hugely important skill to master as we grow into adults, partners, and members of society. In play, we learn that sometimes sharing our favorite play dough and watching dad make a snowman can be just as fun and rewarding as making what we want to make.
We learn empathy—the doll is crying, the dog is sad because his friends left. Letting creativity flow in play is an absolutely wonderful way to learn about perspectives, empathy, emotions, and event-reaction sequences.
We learn problem solving—even if we don’t have a strawberry milkshake, we will find a way to make one. Even if we don’t have a Barbie house, a blanket and a couch will do. Through play, we learn that we DO have the power to create and solve problems all by ourselves!
We increase vocabulary—in play, we learn new words to describe colors, places, actions, or events.
Play is one of the most valuable tools we have to build relationships and build skills. But… how? How does my child playing with blocks build skills? While play itself is valuable, the most valuable part is getting involved! Listed below are tips and tricks to increasing independence, relationships, and skills through play.
Maintain a non-judgmental role. There are no “right” and “wrong” ways to play, as long as play is safe and maintains family and individual values.
Model—we can teach through “modeling” actions, without expectation of repetition or response. If your child is struggling to build their domino house, instead of telling them how, sit next to them and build your own house. Use your words to describe what’s happening—the doll is crying because she’s hungry. All the dark blue blocks fell down! Let them observe, analyze, question, and imitate at their own pace.
Reflect—reflect on what they’re doing. Reflections let children know that you’re there, watching, and present with them. “You’re building a really tall tower!” or “I see how you’re picking all the purple beads” is a wonderful way to let them know that you are present in the moment and right there with them.
Praise—praise the good you see in play. Praise when you see creativity, flexibility, problem solving, empathy, or communication. Praise validates that what they just did is something they should do again in the future.
Imitate—imitating their play lets them know that you’re active, engaged, and involved in what they’re doing. This builds confidence in themselves and shows that you’re attending to what’s going on in their world.
While we’re having fun getting involved in learning through skill-infused play, below are a few things that we should avoid for the most productive play environment:
Negative statements: saying “no” or “don’t” in play should be reserved for things that are dangerous, harmful, or do not align with core family values. For the majority of other situations, play is a time for children to learn what will and won’t work. Even though we, as adults, may understand that stacking the blocks that way will cause them to fall, unless the child’s safety is at risk, instead of saying “don’t”—let them learn, grow, and experience lessons for themselves!
A few things to be wary of: questions, jokes, and altering their play schemes. These depend on your child’s age and activity—your 9-year-old may love jokes and sarcasm, and they can be a wonderful way to bond. However, for a 5-year-old who’s still grasping the concept, a joke may seem like you’re disapproving or not enjoying play. Questions are a great way to gain additional insight and be involved in the play scheme; however, we must be aware of the unintentional social demands that questions place.
Learning through play is an integral part of childhood—building life experiences one block at a time. Happy playing!
